Spoke to X last night, he said the words I didnt really want to hear but I know that I needed to:
"I'm not in love with you anymore"
I've decided that I shouldn't speak or see him for a few weeks, kind of like an X detox. I just need to convince myself that I don't love him either. I will text and email him for T related things and let him speak to T on the phone whenver he wants but I dont want to hear his voice or see him. It hurts like a motherfucker. This is not helpful on the lead up to Christmas. Can I just skip it this year? I'm sure T will never know ...
I know I have things to look forward to ... learning how to love myself again (get your mind out of the gutter, I did that when I was married!), maybe meeting someone know, having a first kiss and most importantly watching this litte man grow up!