If your husband told another woman he had feelings for her would you consider that cheating? Even if she didn't feel the same way about him, shut him down and nothing happened? I would.
If your husband went on a big night out and ended up very drunk and slept in another woman's hotel room and then lied to you about it the next day would you consider that cheating? I would.
I have just found out that my X did both of the above. On the same night. Last week, the night before he ended our marriage.
I am trying to work out how I feel. Am I angry? Yes. Am I sad? Yes. Am I overwhelmed? Yes. Am I feeling these emotions intensely? Nope... I feel I should be angrier or sadder or completely devastated. I'm not. I had a flare of anger ... I called him names and cried but that was this morning and tonight .. it's kind of abated. I'm just ok.
Should I be scared that this is just a coping mechanism and I am going to breakdown in the next few days?! I hope not.
These things I do know:
- I did nothing wrong to lead to my marriage break down
- It really wasn't me, it was him
- He didn't really love or respect me
- I am worth so much more than him
I think as long as I keep repeating these facts I can keep moving forward.
God this must be a depressing blog to read ... is there anyone out there?