Thursday, December 8, 2011

What constitutes cheating?

If your husband told another woman he had feelings for her would you consider that cheating? Even if she didn't feel the same way about him, shut him down and nothing happened? I would.

If your husband went on a big night out and ended up very drunk and slept in another woman's hotel room and then lied to you about it the next day would you consider that cheating? I would.

I have just found out that my X did both of the above. On the same night. Last week, the night before he ended our marriage.

I am trying to work out how I feel. Am I angry? Yes. Am I sad? Yes. Am I overwhelmed? Yes. Am I feeling these emotions intensely? Nope... I feel I should be angrier or sadder or completely devastated.  I'm not. I had a flare of anger ... I called him names and cried but that was this morning and tonight .. it's kind of abated. I'm just ok.

Should I be scared that this is just a coping mechanism and I am going to breakdown in the next few days?! I hope not.

These things I do know:
 - I did nothing wrong to lead to my marriage break down
 - It really wasn't me, it was him
 - He didn't really love or respect me
 - I am worth so much more than him

I think as long as I keep repeating these facts I can keep moving forward.

God this must be a depressing blog to read ... is there anyone out there?


  1. I'm out here. I'm reading. I'm not depressed by your blog :)

    I agree with all of your points on what constitutes cheating. I think the "emotional" cheating is almost worse than the "physical".

    I fortunately haven't been in your situation, but I am currently supporting my beautiful sister in law who is.

    Please do keep repeating those facts to yourself; especially the last. You ARE worth so much more than him.

  2. I'm here too. And I think, rather than being depressing, your blog will be really inspiring. It's extremely brave of you to put it all out there, an amazing show of strength. I'm really feeling for you, and hope you & that lovely little boy are ok. Kellie xx

  3. Thank you for your feedback xx